Ntabwo ari ibintu byoroshye kubungabunga urukundo, nta n’ibitangaza wakora kugira ngo urukomeze. Icy’ingenzi ni ukumenya uburyo wakumira imitego igiye ibyihishemo akenshi yerekeza ku makimbirane n’urwangano hagati y’abashakanye.
Kugira ngo urukundo rurame hagati y’abashakanye ni umurimo uhoraho usaba ubwitonzi, imbaraga no guhanahana amakuru kandi ibyo bigakorwa ku mpande zombi. Nk’uko tubikesha “noovomoi”, hari bimwe mu byo ugomba gukumira kugira ngo umubano wawe n’uwo mwashakanye ukomeze ube ntamakemwa.
- Kubura ubwisanzure
Kugira igihe cyo kwisanzura ni ngombwa mu buzima. Amabwiriza yo guhora muri kumwe muri byose kandi igihe cyose bishobora kubyara ikintu kimeze nk’uburoko no kubura ubwisanzure. Ni ngombwa kubaha mugenzi wawe ukamuha igihe cyo kwisanzura kandi ntubibone mu ndorerwamo y’uko aba yagiye kwirebera abandi bagabo cyangwa abandi bagore. Icyizere niyo nkingi y’urushako. Baho kandi ureke na mugenzi wawe abeho.
- Kutiyitaho
Kimwe mu bituma urukundo rw’abashakanye rukomeza kuramba, harimo no kwiyitaho. Bagore! Mureke kwifata uko mubonye, mukarabe, mwisige, mwambare neza, mbese mukore ibituma mugaragara neza. Bagabo namwe mureke kwifata uko mwishakiye. Mwemerere abagore banyu babiteho cyane cyane kubafasha gushaka ibyo mwambara kugira ngo mugaragare neza. Kwita ku isura yawe no ku myambarire bibafasha gukomeza kwiyumvanamo.
- Kutagira isuku
Kugira ibyuya bibi, ibirenge binuka ndetse n’ibindi byose byaterwa n’isuku nke, ni ibintu bishobora kwica urukundo rw’abashakanye ku buryo burambye. Impumuro ni ikintu k’ingenzi ku kiremwa muntu kandi bishobora kumugumamo igihe kirekire. Hari abanga gukaraba ahubwo bagahitamo kwitera “parfum”. Ibyo ntibyemewe.
- Abakunzi ba kera
Uzirinde kujya uhoza mu kanwa kawe uwo mwakundanye mbere y’uko ushaka. Ibyo ni ugutesha agaciro uwo mwashakanye. Nubwo mugenzi wawe yaba adafuha, ariko bituma yumva nta mutekano afite, mbese bimubuza amahoro. Ntashobora gushyira imbaraga mu byateza imbere urugo kubera ko uhora umugereranya n’uwo mwakundanye kera. Bituma umubano wawe na we ntacyizere awuha.
- Ubushotoranyi n’ihohotera
Hari abantu bitera ubwoba kuba ahantu bagawa bya buri gihe, ibitutsi bidashira, kubwirwa nabi no guhohoterwa haba ku mubiri ndetse no mu bitekerezo, ariko akenshi usanga guhohoterwa mu mvugo cyangwa gukubitwa biviramo abashakanye kwangana bivamo no gutandukana.
Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Baucom et al. (2011) bwo bwagaragaje ko itumanaho mu bashakanye rikozwe neza rituma babaho mu munezero.
